Winter’s log, earthdate 201505.11

It’s not been a very good day all round… I’ve not been able to settle on anything, though I did manage to get poor old Addain up to level 20 this morning… and I did make some progress about finding out about blog hosting – this particular place I contacted said that yes, they did do blog hosting, and did I want them to design one for me! I have yet to write back and tell them no, I didn’t want them to design it, I wanted me to design it, and how did I go about setting one up on their system, please? But that’s work for tomorrow. As you can see, I’ve not only fiddled around with headers and graphics, I’ve also fiddled around with yet another template (herein after referred to as YAT! It’s quicker and easier to write, and as I seem to do a lot of it (switching templates) I thought it’d be a good idea) This template is on the edge of being: quote [spoken in a drawn-out reluctant tone] “alright…” end quote. But it’s not what I want – I’ve spent quite literally hours today trying template after template, and you really don’t need, or want to know what some of them did to my graphics! So I’m tired, dispirited, and depressed today – please bear with me.

My favourite eldest daughter was Julian Taxied off to the doctor today to see what was wrong with her sore leg – doctor promptly sent her off for scans, just in case it might have been a blood clot. It wasn’t, thank heavens, as that’s where most pulmonary and cardiac embolisms come from (they’re often found to have come from blood clots forming in the lower leg due to lack of movement and exercise – and commonly called DVTs (deep-vein thrombosis) It’s been theorized that that’s where my two bouts of multiple pulmonary embolisms came from) So thank heavens they didn’t find any blood clots – and apart from the horrendous health risk they’d pose for my favourite eldest daughter, at least it’s not something else that I have to feel guilty about!

You know how sometimes you feel as though your whole life has come to a muddled sort of stand still? Well, you might not – this is me we’re talking about, and I do tend to muddle a lot, and at the moment I’ve muddled myself into a stand still. Nothing’s happening. Nothing’s moving along as it should. I’m at an impasse, with no idea of where to go or what to do next. I feel as though I have no direction – I don’t even know what I want to do! Oh, I’ll get sick of this mood soon enough, I suppose, but at the moment I’m in a brown study, with a big fat black dog lying across my feet and making them far too hot. I’ll have to kick him off soon…

Weigh-in this morning… Was depressing. I went up another point to 92.3kg. I’m getting thoroughly sick and tired of this – I walk up and down the stairs, even though it’s killing my knees, I eat virtually nothing – all for what?! I was losing an average of a kilo a week – now it’s more like a kilo every week and a half to two weeks. As I said above – everything seems to be dragging to a stand-still. But I’ll keep going, because I said I would, and because everyone expects me to, but really and truly? I really can’t be bothered anymore.

My favourite eldest daughter will be over tomorrow – we’ll probably watch some episodes of either “Person of Interest”, or “Agents of Shield”, or both, and if I’m very lucky (or unlucky, depending on your viewpoint) I might even get an hour or two of Rifting in – or stuffing around with graphics.

This is a very short blog tonight, and not a very nice one. I’m sorry for that, but it’s the way I feel at the moment. Don’t worry, I’ll get over it – you’re just getting a small glimpse of the real, “not very nice” me. Luckily she doesn’t surface very often. No doubt there’ll be lots of interesting things to tell you about tomorrow – “Person of Interest”, “Agents of Shield”, and perhaps a paragraph or so about the new series Julian and I are watching at the moment – “Elementary” – the one I told you a bit about some time ago – Sherlock Holmes set in America, with a female Dr. Watson. It’s quite good, but it takes a bit of getting “into” because it’s so far removed from just about anything you’ve become accustomed to with Sherlock Holmes. I’m not sure at all if I’ll mention my weight tomorrow – at the moment, we’re not talking to each other. As for the rest of…. “everything”…. I’m sure I’ll be back to normal tomorrow… or the day after… or something. So do drop around again tomorrow night for the next installment of “What Ails Winter and Is She Better Yet” – but until then, bee good, don’t hide your light under a bushel, and above all… stay safe! 🙂 ciao, all! 🙂

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