Winter’s log, earthdate 201507.20

We ended up not doing anything much at all today, apart from a bit of grocery shopping (and coffee – is coffee a grocery item? I thought it was a staple…) and my visit to the hairdresser. They did chop that annoying piece of hair off, and for once, I had my hair done the way I wanted it done! Flat. Sleek. No bits hanging, poking, or sticking out. No voluminous waves that I have to flatten out when I get home… Mind you, I have no idea what it’s going to look like tomorrow morning, when it has to look like something out of Vogue magazine! I know, I can get Julian to take a photo, and print it out, life-sized… then I can attach that to a stick of some sort (maybe a wooden spoon? 😉 ) and if my hair gets messed overnight, I can just hold the photo on the stick  in front of my face like Jane Jetson’s “morning mask” in the old cartoon show “The Jetsons”! 🙂 Do you think anyone would notice? 🙂 No, what I’ll probably do tonight is glue it all down with hairspray and just hope that it doesn’t get folded, spindled, or mutilated overnight… Fingers crossed for me, everyone, please! 🙂 So this morning I dithered… and played a bit of Rift. I think I’ve decided to give up on Final fantasy XIV – it’s a fun game, and I like it a lot, but it’s too slow, and there are far too many of the tediously over-long cut scenes nearly every time you get, or hand in a quest, which absolutely drive me nuts! So I can’t see me spending the sort of time I generally spend on Rift, or that one needs to spend on that type of game to get to the higher, more worthwhile levels. It’s probably best not to buy it and get too involved… It’s a shame though, because with a bit of paring back in places, and a little tweaking in others, it could be a very good game, and a worthy alternative to World of Warcraft and Rift! Rift. I managed to get Chaviv up to level 20 today, before I realised that I hadn’t had a look at Facebook for a day and a half, so I went and did that. I’m also feeling very guilty that I’ve been neglecting my graphics – I’ve had some ideas for new backgrounds – maybe something a little “bolder” that pastel mauve swirly thingies… and because the text is on a plain, white background that can’t be changed, I can just about use any sort of background I like – either repeating pattern, or a solid piece of “abstract” art (but don’t look for abstract art from me – I’ve never been any good at it! Probably because it doesn’t make any sense to me… after all, even a kindergarten kid can paint different coloured squares on a canvas! What’s the Big Deal?! ) When I painted with real paint (oils, not acrylics) I used to paint faces (female faces – I couldn’t, and still can’t, for some unknown reason, manage to draw or paint male faces) flowers… horses… cats… street scenes… and now that I play around with computer graphics, I rely very heavily on elements like fonts and patterns, which I then adapt to whatever it is I’m trying to create. Sometimes I feel as though I’m cheating – using someone else’s fonts or brushes or shapes to create my images. In other words, I feel as though I’m cheating, because I didn’t create every element in my composition from scratch… but I don’t sell any of my work (if anyone ever wants any of my work, it’s theirs for free) I’ve never pretended that I created everything from scratch, and the initial idea, or the concept for the piece, is mine, and mine alone. Maybe after we move I might even get back into real painting again – dunno… but I’ll certainly have the room for it! 🙂

Tomorrow, of course is THE Big Day! Dr. Y. said last time that he’d be happy with 90kg, and if I could get down to 90kg we’d start conferencing with Dr. D. about how to manage my blood clotting problems during surgery… so now I’m scared as well as excited! 🙂 I guess I’ll know more by tomorrow night, but right at this particular moment, I don’t want anything to get in the way of my weight loss – I have to get down to 70kg, and then get myself stabilised between 70 and 75kg, before I can even contemplate surgery of any sort, let alone something very major! I realise that this “70kg” is an arbitrary number that I have chosen to aim for, and it may well turn out that I’ll look at myself at 70kg and decide that I still need to lose more weight. Yes, I do know that BMI weight recommendations are mostly rubbish and definitely not to be believed, and I can assure you all that I have no intention whatsoever of even attempting to get myself down to the 45kg that all the BMI’s I’ve looked at insist that I should be, but… I’m sick and tired of being obese. It’s time to be “average slim” for a change, so the arbitrary “70kg” may well become adjusted to a lower weight. I will promise, however, that I will call myself “average slim” and go onto a maintenance diet and start eating proper food again when Dr. B. (or Dr. Y.) says I am!

Weigh-in this morning. I finally made it past the 83kg barrier! I lost two points – going from yesterday’s 83.0kg (where I languished for three depressing and angst-ridden bloody days! Grr!) to 82.8kg. Who knows? I might go up again tomorrow morning (oh Lord! please no! Not tomorrow, of all days!) but I did break the 83kg barrier today! The new “seven-floors” Stair Walk is quite debilitating at the moment, and it’s cold! Oh so cold! in the fire escape stair-well! The closer to the ground you get, the icier the handrail becomes! By the time I get right down to where the letterboxes are, it’s like I’m holding onto an ice-cube straight out of the freezer – and that’s through two thick gloves! I’m not looking forward to my walk tonight, I can tell you! I don’t expect it to take me more than a couple of days to get used to the extra floors I’m clambering up and down, but I don’t really think I’m going to get used to the coldness of it any time soon! The entire building has “chilled down” now, and the cold has seeped in everywhere. Even a couple of weeks ago, entering the fire escape was almost “pleasant” – it was quite a bit warmer in there than it was outside our front door! Now, just walking out the front door is like walking into a refrigerator, and entering the fire escape is like going from the refrigerator into the freezer! Brrr!

My favourite eldest daughter will be over on Wednesday, which will be good, and we might go outdoor furniture hunting on Thursday or Friday – or both! (which will largely depend on what Dr. Y. says tomorrow – I might be too depressed to want to go furniture shopping! (but I don’t think so! 🙂 )) Anyway, that’s about all from me for tonight – do call back again tomorrow night, and find out if my hair stayed put overnight (it’d better, or I’ll shave it off!) and what happened with Dr. Y.! Will he be pleased with me, or will he think I’ve been slacking and be disappointed in me? Will my weight let me down yet again, and go back up, or will it behave itself for the good doctor, as I devoutly hope it will? What other adventures will we get up to tomorrow, I wonder! Find out tomorrow night (ohh… I can smell frying onions! Mmm! I love the smell of frying onions! Yum!) Until then though, please try to bee good, remember that you can be cautious, or you can be creative — but there’s no such thing as a cautious creative! 🙂 Don’t forget to look after yourselves, to keep warm, and to drive carefully, but most importantly, don’t forget to stay safe! 🙂 ciao, all! 🙂